Funny quotes are though not given importance in our daily life but it is also true that they help us when we are stuck in something terrible. For example: at work when we don't want to work anymore and are badly bored by our work these funny quotes are there to cheer us up. At a gathering where due to some reason people are getting bored and do not have something interesting to say, suddenly you say any really funny quotes and listen to the others laughter. These are the small things that fill the colors of joy and fun in our today’s boring and machine like lives. Just imagine if there was no fun in our lives how would they be? This though definitely terrorizes us that’s why whenever we get chance or we feel that we or the others need something to laugh on these quotes should be used.

1. "Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them."
2. "If you need a friend, get a dog."
3. "The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. Only a person who risks is free."
4. "You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
5. "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
6. "Every man dies. Not every man really lives."
7. "Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
8. "Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
9. "Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?"
10. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
11. "To alcohol, the nights that you'll never remember, with the friends you'll never forget!"
12. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
13. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
14. Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
15. Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?
16. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
17. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
18. I hate everybody, and you’re next.
19. Please don’t make me kill you.
20. And your point is…?
21. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now.
22. I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
23. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
24. Remember my name – you’ll be screaming it later.
25. You KNOW you want me.
26. Don’t worry. It’ll only seem kinky the first time…
27. Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time.
28. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
29. I’m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
30. You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
31. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
32. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
33. All stressed out and no one to choke.
34. I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.
35. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
36. Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.
37. If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.
38. Politics needs a sense of humor, throw a pie at a politician today.
39. Don't take life so seriously, there are no survivors.
40. It's not that I'm scared of dying, I just to want to be there when it happens.
41. I hope I didn't brain my damage - Homer Simpson
42. He who laughs last probably does not get the joke.
43. I miss you like a retard misses the point.
44. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
45. You know you have a small apartment when Coco Pops echo.
46. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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